Happy Easter Folks!
There is a reason every year Christians all over the world choose to celebrate Easter. We call to remembrance the one true sacrifice, made by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and we celebrate and thank God for the salvation of our souls. Exciting stuff! And as I write today, I think about the many things the sacrifice of Jesus Christ brings to us who have received him, and undoubtedly, one of such gifts is rest. I love reading this verse in the book of Matthew: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]" (Matthew 11:28, AMPC). The invitation itself has a calming feel to it, and you just know, that if you take Him at His word, you will indeed find rest.
Sadly we don't always take advantage of this invitation. And it just may be because we don't always know how to set appropriate boundaries. So I am writing today to everyone who needs some rest and to those who find themselves constantly grappling with the need to set appropriate boundaries and stick with them. I'm even writing to those who always seem to fail to respect the boundaries others have set, maybe even through no visible fault of theirs.
I'm also writing today from the perspective of the Enneagram, as we sometimes see our personalities stand in the way of progress when it comes to boundaries. Over the next 3 posts including this one, I would love to explore some ways our personalities show up when it comes to boundaries, and recommend some ideas for growth in this area. Don't worry too much about knowing your Enneagram type, just observe what comes up for each type and pick out something that helps you.
Type 1 – Reaching for Perfection
Are you known for maintaining high standards and a strong sense of right and wrong? This admirable trait can sometimes lead to being overly critical of ourselves and others. You could also tend to overcommit and neglect your own needs while trying to meet an unrealistic goal of perfection. If you relate to this, setting boundaries might mean learning how to relax, take a step back and recognize when it’s time to say no. It may mean learning how to be satisfied with good enough, instead of striving for perfect. To respect the boundaries of others, you may need to be more flexible in your expectations and remain open to new perspectives.
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” - Kim Collins
Type 2 – Caring for others
Do you find yourself constantly prioritizing the needs of others, many times forgetting to put your own needs into the picture? Your selfless nature may be the fuel that gets others going but could also be the reason you feel drained of energy and sometimes unappreciated. Setting boundaries for you may mean honoring your desires and learning to say no when necessary. Recognize that this does not mean you are being selfish, but respecting your boundaries may lead you to cultivate healthier and more authentic relationships with others. To respect the boundaries of others, you may need to understand that not everyone needs your help, and that’s okay!
"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." —Jack Kornfield
Type 3 – Prioritizing Goals & Achievement
A strong desire for success and accomplishment could lead to impressive achievements, but could also result in a tendency for a person to push themselves beyond their limits. If you find that you are constantly striving for success and the approval of others, it is time to slow down! Setting boundaries for you may mean acknowledging the value of rest and balance while understanding that your worth is not dependent on your productivity. To respect the boundaries of others, you may need to understand that not everyone shares your drive and ambition – so take the time to appreciate the quality of your relationships even when the people you relate with are not as outwardly focused as you are.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” ― Anne Lamott
Did you relate to any of the examples shared in this post? If not, rest easy, we will explore a few more expressions of our personalities as we continue the series. Regardless of your personality type, it’s essential to remember that setting boundaries isn’t just about protecting yourself – it’s also about respecting the boundaries of others. By acknowledging and honoring the needs and boundaries of those around you, you can cultivate deeper and more meaningful connections while also fostering a greater sense of self-awareness and personal growth.
Cheers to your Rest! M.