In my last post, I shared a perspective on setting boundaries for three expressions of our personality as described by the Enneagram. In this post, I will share perspectives on three more. You may resonate with one or more of these expressions. While it can often be tough to break free from negative patterns of thinking and behaviour, identifying and understanding how we tend to react can be the start of learning how to break free and establish healthier patterns of behaviour.
Type 4: Emotionally Attuned to Others
Do you typically sense how others are feeling, knowing how to comfort them with or without words? If you are highly sensitive and emotionally intuitive, this powerful strength may make you prone to taking on the emotional burdens of others. To establish healthy boundaries, it is important to recognize your own needs and emotions as valid and to communicate those needs clearly to others. It also helps for you to be aware that not everyone shares your emotional intensity, so keep an eye out for the boundaries others have set so you can respect them.
“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.” ― Sophia Bush
Type 5: Withdraw to Re-energize
Are there times when you need to shut yourself off from anyone and everything to get some well-deserved rest and recharge your human battery? You may feel a strong need for personal space and independence, but may also have difficulty expressing those needs to others. Setting boundaries can help you create the space you need without isolating yourself from those you care about. To set boundaries effectively, you must prioritize your own well-being and energy levels, learning to say no to excessive demands on your time and resources. You also need to recognize when others are setting boundaries and respect their needs for personal space and solitude.
"Rest when you're weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work." - Ralph Marston
Type 6: Loyalty in Friendship
Has anyone ever told you how much they appreciate your loyalty and friendship? While admirable, your sense of loyalty and responsibility may lead you to overcommit or overextend yourself in order to maintain your relationships. To set healthy boundaries, you must learn to trust your own instincts and abilities, while developing the ability to assert your needs confidently. This would also help you ensure to respect the boundaries of others without succumbing to any fears or insecurities that may inundate you.
“Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.” - Randy Armstrong
Each of us have unique needs and preferences when it comes to personal space, communication, and emotional support. By understanding and respecting the boundaries of others, you can foster healthier, more balanced relationships.
As you navigate this process of identifying and changing negative patterns, remember that setting and respecting boundaries is a practice, not a one-time event. It requires ongoing self-awareness, communication, and self-compassion. By integrating the wisdom of the Enneagram into your journey of growth and transformation, you can cultivate healthier relationships with yourself and others.
Cheers to your Rest!
M.